Dear Jack,

Thank you for the gun and the vest. I never use them, I don't think I could shoot someone if i wanted to, but they keep me brave. Keep me brave and remind me of you. I wish you coulda seen us, i know it woulda made you proud. Me and Dee, we fixed the ship, jack, and it's gonna be better than ever once we get the new part. The old Hyrdolic stablizer parts are sitting right in front of me now on the shelf by the door. They remind me what i can do, just like you with the guns, but safer. I've found my place, jack. They love me, i think and i know i love them.

I'll never forget you, Jack. Never.
I wish you were here so much.

I take back what i said, if someone came after Astrid or dee, heck, maybe even Syndra and captain, i could shoot.. If they were hurt, i could kill someone.
it's thoughts like that that scare me almost as much as seeing those reavers.
I could kill someone jack. i could do it. Thanks to you.

love, your younger brother,
Tyr
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Journaling from the engine room [Mar. 14th, 2007|09:29 pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Tyr has acquired himself a chair and a small flashlight wich he has temporarily affixed to the engine room wall by the com . he is now seated, legs pulled up to his chest scrawling on a small battered note book with an eqaly small and battered pencil

fixed the ship, she's a good old girl. Like the shuttel was before.

I don't want to think about what would happen if what happened happens to Benu.
Could i kill people-things, like my brother did?
My brother said they were people once. They looked more like monsters. Monsters don't exist ty, he said Men do. they do. They aren't aliens, they don't exist either.
I still have his gun, i still wear his vest under my shirt, it's a little big. I've never fired it, the gun that is.
Bang. die.
You said you'd always protect me, jack. Where are you?
I hope i don't have to protect anyone. No one should have secrets like the secrets inside me.
with a yawn tyr curls up on the chair, the paper in his hand falls to the floor and he sleeps
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[Feb. 23rd, 2007|09:54 am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Ta ma de!( oh shit)
this could be bad. very bad. worse than bad. If anyone can help us its Cap'n, hes good at fixing things.
Rerouting shouldn't be easy or hard-- can do it, 'specaly if Dee is there with me.
Worse has happened to me. I can deal.
I think i will keep this broken bit if we don't need it. It will be happier here.
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[Jul. 17th, 2006|12:17 am]
Blinking, i wake. the heart's moving, the head's in comand.
was i really asleep? I slept so long. There were so many nightmares.
I wonder if everyone lived? it seems like they did.
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[Apr. 1st, 2006|10:58 pm]
ships quite. its loud outside. So many feelings, so much noise.
Even with al on the ship its empty. The heart and mind aren't enough without the other organs to process things. I will do what captain said. I will stay here i will care for the ship.
The heart watches the mind the mind watches the heart.
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war. [Feb. 15th, 2006|11:24 pm]
The ship is quiet, hollow. echoy.
i wait. They could need me. Guns could jam, stuff could break, but its safer to be in here.
isn't it?
sounds ugly out there.
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[Feb. 11th, 2006|07:23 pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

War.
Jack always talked about it. Father said unification should have ended it, should have showed those browncoats. Some people never learn, he said.

Jack was right, always said, they were heartless.
Those poor people.

If it comes to it, could I kill someone, could i actually do it?

I remember Jack always said he could. I still have the gun he gave me, i wonder if it’s even loaded. I should get some bullets, just incase.
Makes me get shake just thinking about it.

I hope Benu doesn’t get hurt. I don’t know if we can afford repairs.

It’s hard to see Cap’n or Al killing anyone. Dee could do it. The doctor could.

I couldn’t
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[Jan. 23rd, 2006|08:27 pm]
[ mood | cynical ]


quiet and easy to overlook. I'm glad to have a job, but some days i wonder how important i am. Like if i had just left. Hidden on the ship that rusty old firefly and disappeared would they know until benu's engine went to pieces?
Sometimes i still hear screaming, and i wonder what i thought coming onto this ship. Is it just a way to pass the moments?
James' right, I can't make things be not true.

their dead. So is jack. I should get used to this.

fuck the alliance . Jack was right, dad was wrong. These people shouldn't need to be rescued.


Breathe. Things will be alright once we are in the air again. once i can hear the engine song again.

If these thoughts were on paper i would burn them. they are too hot to touch with bare hands.
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too much to forget [Jan. 20th, 2006|09:47 pm]
[ mood | terrified ]


I remember too much.
Too much to remember. Too much to forget.
I'm afraid of everything. Shadows moving, lights playing. People moving. The science of the engine. I had to get away. The hull was like the escape pod, trapped. I couldn't breath. Words words to many gorram words. They can't change anything, doctor's right about that. Its all a gorram bunch of Pi hua (1). You Shen jing bing(2), tyr.

Got to breathe. got to stay calm. That can’t happen again. Dee will protect me. Our crew will protect me even t he ones who scare me. They've gotta they're all i got.

Some day I will find jack, maybe if I find him I’ll remember, or forget all the way.
I know he’s out there, somewhere in the black looking for me.

For now I’ve got the crew.

(1) bullshit
(2) lunatic
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Tyr's current thoguhtgs durring/ re: the meeting [Jan. 15th, 2006|04:22 pm]
[ mood | scared ]
[ music | the humm of the engine behind us, al's breathing ]

I wish i could fix people the way i do ships. Just look at the gunwoman and say, here all you need is a new coil and all that pain will disappear. Ships cant fix themselves, like people cant fix themselves. People need other people. Ships need people too. Ships are like people with parts. I don't think that made sense. Death and trouble and all kinds of hurt. We are like animals sniffing each other and circling. I am like a rabbit, thats what Captain calls me, rabbit. We startle each other and we growl and snap. That captain Reynolds person, he's not as brave as he puts on but his caring out does his fear. I think. All of us are scrawny and space eaten. I think the black takes the best of us some days, and puts more back.

The other girl is pretty, i think if we see each other again i will like her.
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sleeping [Jan. 9th, 2006|10:49 am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

The engine keeps me from dreaming. last night i had one of those dreams i couldn't tell was a dream when i first woke up. Then reached my hand out and touched the steel wall. and i could feel the ship, and her crew. Our crew, i guess it is. Its still strange to be an Us. Night's the best time to be awake when you're thinking to much, cause not to many people think in their sleep, some people dream. It smells like a ship aught to smell in the engine room. Steel grease and memories. The engine knows who i am, doesn't get scared like it used to. There's a thread of intention in the air still from the day. During the day everyone has something they've gotta be doing, not at night. Except for sleeping. the ship was quiet. I found my place in a corner and I fell asleep fast. Woke up too soon, we must be turning cause Benu's making all kinds of moving sounds.
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Ty's background [Jan. 7th, 2006|10:15 pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Disclamer: this is not me! though the char. consept is (c) me, the systme/ univers he is based out of belongs to Joss Wedon.

( ty )
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From the engine room of the Benu [Jan. 6th, 2006|12:53 am]
The nightmares have gotten worse since I;ve been up here. Wish I could talk to Jack. I know he’s alive somewhere Goodness these people are tense. I can almost smell it. Someone’s coming. Good no one saw me. No one tends to see me. That’s good. What was that creek. I think I will go rest in the engine room its warm in there and I can think. I think this ship likes me, I like her, she’s a good ship. I hope they don’t throw me off.

Welcome:
Odds are high that you are a friend(almost all of this journal shall be "friend locked") if you have found this journal (Susan’s in all likely hood as she is the most actively front person): The collective shifts a lot some of us are a great deal frontier others are very quiet or circumstantial
1. Susan: (original) http://norokrex.livejournal.com/profile she is also heavily aspected, has a feline aspect as well as an angelic aspect
2. Arin* James Wolfe: (walk in) from Susan’s past in some fashion we suspect. We know him least but she seems to have bonded to him quickly. Long hair, fairly tall, often has a trench coat; Susan’s old familiar is his companion—a Raven named Malachi. Fiercely devoted soul, a lover and a thinker
3. Alex (zander) Drachmare: (walk in): Psychic vampire and may have been a sanguine vampire in a former life. Short, dark haired, fanged, clawed occasionally winged. (Or at least we think that’s where the collective form got the feathered wings) A playful soul, bisexual, curious, confidant (well that’s what he lets on) teangery if that’s a word.
4. Nightshade: (part of the original core, not sure if she’s a walk-in or a ‘became aware of’): Large, normally simply red tinted demon woman with claws and fangs, but in full form has horns, and wings. She is sexual, rough, mean humored, the embodiment of a devil’s grin
5. Kira- past! Susan, sweet little Irish girl. Of roman times ish. Blond, freckled, short. Very shy and kind.
6. Ferret- crazy ferretiod (split)- high anxiety, not one we like to poke unless provoked. Looks like a ferret with a human face
7. Shadowcat- Spilt from twilight, but now very much he own soul. Loyal, fierce, Rageful, but laid back. When not a large glowing cat, he is humanoid with feline features and a Mohawk of tentacles. He's Alex’s close friend though the rest of the collective often suspects more.
8. Twilight- (“became aware of” possible even an aspect at this point) she is a large lioness like animal, mother incarnate, often with her cubs, defender and protectress
9. HAT: (Walk in) looks like a child but is in fact 837 years old (the rest of the collective would like to note that this number changes) old, likes flowers and hats and has a crush on a dragon named Phill
10. Cort: (walk in) May have left, don't know. Has a cape and sword and dark hair. Silent but strong, very much a gruff soul, teacher. Nicknamed Cort from a similar minded character in Stephen king’s Dark Tower Saga
11. Wolfy: (walk in) large white anthro wolf, healer, and pragmatic. Was friends with ‘Trina in past.
12. (Ka)Trina-- dragon, all dragon, blue and green, doesn’t use words. But squawks she likes to play and be physical.
*He wishes to note that his name is not Aaron/Erin. Ar-in is how it’s pronounced

Current Mood: pensive